Quotes Filed Under "SLC"


my big fat greek lack of a decent education

5 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2010

  • Girl 1: Oh my gosh! Look how pretty her skin is!
  • Girl 2: Yeah! She looks like she's a straight-out-of-Greece Italian.

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going down?

-27 [+ / -]     Jan 21, 2010

  • (In the SLC elevator)
  • (Fratty 1 hiccups)
  • (pause)
  • Fratty 2: Dude, that's so gay.

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also, wrong wallace

29 [+ / -]     Jan 13, 2010

  • (In US History Post 1865)
  • Professor: Can anyone tell me who George Wallace is?
  • Sorostitute: He's that character from Braveheart!
  • Professor: No, sorry, not in this class.

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don't forget about all the free condoms

15 [+ / -]     Jan 05, 2010

  • Professor: Apparently, all you guys do is make-out and get wasted all the time because you're college students. Which is why the university puts hand sanitizer everywhere and obsessively cleans.

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that one was easy! i hope it's on the final!

47 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2009

  • Professor: What would happen if you picked up a fresh cow patty?
  • Girl: You'd get shit on your hands?

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does it matter?

-2 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2009

  • Male Professor: So, who stayed in town this weekend? Did anyone go downtown?
  • Student: I was downtown!
  • Male Professor: Sweet.
  • Student: Were you downtown wearing a dress?
  • Male Professor: What color?

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furries are people, too

41 [+ / -]     Nov 10, 2009

  • Girl 1: She says it's her lifestyle.
  • Girl 2: Okay, living in a huge expensive house is a lifestyle. Dressing up like a cat, and going to a parties where everyone else is a cat, and having cat orgies is not a lifestyle.

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d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y d-o-t c-o-m

-16 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2009

  • Freshman Girl: (on laptop) How do you spell "caffeine?"
  • Freshman Guy: Hmm, I know this. Yeah, it's c-a-f-f-i-n-e.
  • Freshman Girl: Thanks. I've never had to spell that word in my life. But I guess that's the kind of stuff journalism majors have to know, huh?

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what if a plant has nuts?

-16 [+ / -]     Sep 14, 2009

  • Professor: So if this plant has berries, is it male or female?
  • Student: Female!
  • Professor: Right! Boys don't have berries.

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must be the thin air

-10 [+ / -]     Aug 27, 2009

  • Girl 1: My family is legit mountain people.
  • Girl 2: No, my family is more! My aunt Mary Ann is the stupidest person ever. A lawn mower stopped working so she stuck her hand inside and chopped off all her fingers!

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not too loud... that's like saying "bomb" on an airplane

-47 [+ / -]     Aug 26, 2009

  • (Exiting SLC 102 as everyone is rushing for the door)
  • Guy: If there is ever a fire in here, we are screwed!
  • Girl: But how would a fire get started in here?
  • Guy: An arsonist?

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in some countries, that means they're married now

76 [+ / -]     Aug 25, 2009

  • (Fratty walking up to his friend that is studying)
  • Fratty: What's up homie g-dawg times 10,452?
  • Guy studying: Slap me some skin you sly, slicky slim jim.
  • Girl at the next table: Wait, what the fuck just happened?

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made in china for your vagina!

86 [+ / -]     Jun 11, 2009

  • Guest speaker: Someone give me an example of anything that is manufactured, give me anything.
  • Student: Sex toys!

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tomorrow's lesson is the proper use of the pimp hand

-45 [+ / -]     May 18, 2009

  • Sorostitute: So how's your main squeeze?
  • Boy: My what?
  • Sorostitute: You know, your main bitch.
  • Boy: She's not a bitch.
  • Sorostitute: No, it doesn't mean she's a bitch. Just like, out of all your hoes she's the main one.
  • Boy: ...

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and he's meeting the doctor for drinks on friday

-26 [+ / -]     May 16, 2009

  • Guy 1: You had to go to a urologist? Damn, what'd he say?
  • Guy 2: He said nothing was wrong. He had to check my balls, though, and... and my prostate.
  • Guy 1: Dude... shit... you're fucking gay now.

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can i get that with an extra shot of "oh no she didn't!"

108 [+ / -]     May 08, 2009

  • Jittery Joe's Guy: White mocha?
  • (Girl 1 takes drink)
  • Jittery Joe's Guy: Non-fat white mocha with soy?
  • Girl 2: Um, I had just a regular white mocha.
  • Jittery Joe's Guy: Ugh, that skank took your shit!

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unless of course they're heroin muffins

136 [+ / -]     Mar 16, 2009

  • Professor: Really the only thing that grows in Afghanistan is poppies. And there are only three things you can do with poppies - make poppy seed bagels, poppy seed muffins, and make heroin. And you aren't going to make a lot of money from the muffins.

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we call that "opportunity management"

103 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • Fratty: It's not really hit it and quit it. It's more like hit it, hit it, keep hitting it for a month... then quit it.

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funny, i don't remember voting for him

22 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2009

  • Sorostitute: Who is that guy?
  • Guy: Really? That's the President.
  • Sorostitute: Of the United States?
  • Guy: No.
  • Sorostitute: I mean, not the current President. You know what I mean.
  • Guy: No, that's the President of UGA.
  • Sorostitute: Oh, hah. Wait, we have a President of UGA?

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its sad when even professors think thursday is the weekend

83 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

  • Professor: It's referring to how the different organs in your body perform different functions. Your heart pumps blood and your liver helps you recover from Thursday night.

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she must have gotten up on the evil side of the bed

186 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2009

  • Girl 1: It was weird, I totally saw a less cute version of you today by the Hull Street parking deck. It was like your evil twin or something.
  • Girl 2: (pauses) Yeah... that was me, actually.

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murphy says yes

49 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • Sorostitute: Do you think that thing is going to be on the test?
  • Fratty: What thing?
  • Sorostitute: You know, that thing that wasn't in the notes and we didn't cover in class.
  • Fratty: (stares) Yeah.

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we're sure he's never gotten that one before

-38 [+ / -]     Nov 25, 2008

  • Girl 1: Who is the Dalai Lama?
  • Girl 2: You don't know who the Dalai Lama is? Tibetan monk?
  • Girl 1: Llama? With two Ls? The monk is a llama?

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global warming is worse than we thought

93 [+ / -]     Nov 22, 2008

  • Girl 1: Why are you wearing a skirt, it's so cold outside!
  • Girl 2: What are you talking about? It's nice today.
  • Girl 1: Wait, didn't you used to live someplace really cold or something?
  • Girl 2: I'm from Kuwait.
  • Girl 1: Oh, that explains it!
  • Girl 2: (pauses) Kuwait is a desert.

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but is it usb 2.0 compatible?

-15 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2008

  • This is a bomb-disarming robot created for the UGA Police Department.

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grabbing a quick nap before class

29 [+ / -]     Nov 03, 2008

  • This was taken on Sanford Dr. (behind SLC) right after the Vandy game..these two grown men were passed out

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fortune cookies just aren't as fun as they used to be

-12 [+ / -]     Oct 28, 2008

  • Found clumsily taped to the left handrail of a stairway in the SLC on campus.

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thank god they installed that pregnancy test vending machine by the jittery joe's

128 [+ / -]     Oct 13, 2008

  • (While in the SLC bathroom, Girl 1 is in a stall having a conversation with her friend who is outside the stall)
  • Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod, wait... yes!
  • Sorostitute 2: What?
  • Sorostitute 1: I'm not pregnant!
  • Sorostitute 2: Yay!

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that's the sort of conviction that launches 1000 ships

-42 [+ / -]     Oct 08, 2008

  • Sorostitute: So, I was totally, like, Helen of Troy in a past life. I was so hot I started a huge war!
  • Guy: So you believe in reincarnation?
  • Sorostitute: Well, no, I don't, so I guess I take all that back.
  • Guy: So you're just dead?
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, I'm just dead.
  • Guy: That's what I thought.

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it's true what they say about too much of a good thing

26 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2008

  • (As he walks onto the elevator with a large cup of coffee)
  • Scenester: Adderall is killing my brain, dude... I can't even study.

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have you tried the new diet medium roast?

62 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • Sorostitute: Whole bean... is that like whole grain?
  • Jittery Joe's Guy: Uh...
  • Sorostitute: Like, is that the healthy option?

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but what happens if they break down?

90 [+ / -]     Sep 05, 2008

  • (2 girls walking up the stairs at the SLC)
  • Girl: (to friend) You know, they should really invent moving stairs.

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stick with religion

69 [+ / -]     Sep 03, 2008

  • Professor: The last of the five pillars of Islam is Zakat, which says we should give 2.5% of our capital a year. So, if you make about $1,000, how much should you give away?
  • Student: Um... $25?
  • Professor: $40.
  • Student: No, its $25.
  • Professor: Trust me on this, it's $40.

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for his sake, let's hope ass kicking is on that list

21 [+ / -]     May 14, 2008

  • Guy: Every woman wants to be a man.
  • Girl: No, I'm happy being a girl, we get away with stuff and get out of stuff so much easier!
  • Guy: Yeah, like voting, rights, driving, and good decision making.

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it's been even longer since she paused to breathe

81 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Sorostitute: I really want a muffin because they are so good. But I was on the phone with Momma one time in line here and I told her I was about to get a muffin. She said, "you know what happens to girls who eat muffins right? they get muffin tops." Then I looked over and this, like, huge girl was eating a muffin. So I was like, oh my gosh she's right. I haven't had a muffin in like six months.

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no guts no glory

169 [+ / -]     May 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: I was walking outside Park Hall when I felt something wet and nasty hit the back of my neck.
  • Girl 2: Ew... bird poop?
  • Girl 1: No! Get this... it was a hawk or something squeezing the guts out of a baby squirrel... and when I looked up all these squirrel guts hit me in the face!
  • Girl 2: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard!
  • Girl 1: So, anyway... do you think this was an omen?

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she's clearly learning to be critical

15 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

  • (Three sorostitutes are talking after a logic and critical thinking class)
  • Sorostitute: So, ever since I've been at college, I've realized how totally immature girls in high school are... like for realz.

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your 11 o'clock is on line 1

44 [+ / -]     May 03, 2008

  • (Guy walks over to Sorostitute sitting down in armchair, they kiss)
  • Sorostitute: Bye, see you later!
  • (Guy walks away, her phone rings)
  • Sorostitute: Hey baby!

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which, by the way, is a great place to talk on the phone

159 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2008

  • Girl on Cell: I couldn't believe he did that... ew, I just heard someone peeing!
  • Voice From Stall: That's cause you're in a bathroom, dumbass.

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"...so i should start sleeping with them now, right?"

-33 [+ / -]     Apr 09, 2008

  • Sorostitute: (about her political science classmates) They're all future something importants.

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which must mean he's a shitty boyfriend

227 [+ / -]     Apr 06, 2008

  • Guy on Cell: Yeah, I finally found out what happened to my boxers the other night when Katie and I got naked at her apartment. She called me the next day and said her cat had buried them in its litter box.

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was it good for you?

186 [+ / -]     Mar 29, 2008

  • Guy: So, he slept with you and then just never called?
  • Girl: Yeah, I think its pretty shitty.
  • Guy: Hmmm, you should call him... and tell him you have herpes.

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"...not so loud, man... i'm still hung over"

597 [+ / -]     Mar 27, 2008

  • Professor: So who pretty much got trashed this weekend?
  • (about half raise their hands)
  • Proressor: (yells) Awesome! You guys are first up to give your presentations.

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can you walk a straight line for me, son?

65 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2008

  • (Very early in the morning at the SLC)
  • Guy 1: That girl is pretty hot.
  • Guy 2: No, she isn't.
  • Guy 1: Oh, you're right. Sorry, I have my paper goggles on.

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i have one... can i leave?

46 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2008

  • (In a lecture on BDSM)
  • Speaker: Any questions?
  • (silence from class)
  • Speaker: All right then. Anal sex...

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and the oscar goes to... dumb and dumber!

-69 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2008

  • Girl: Who won big at the Oscars?
  • Guy: Well, the Coen brothers won for four different categories.
  • Girl: Really? Who knew that the guys who created There's Something About Mary could win an Oscar someday?

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my college counselor never mentioned that option

-50 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2008

  • Roommate 1: (looking at Facebook) Is that the hot girl you work with?
  • Roommate 2:Yeah dude, and she's getting her PhD in Biochemistry.
  • Roommate 1: She should get a PhD on my penis.

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college is about learning the fundamentals

-40 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2008

  • Professor: Reading assignment due Wednesday, make sure you have it done.
  • Sorostitute: Is it important that we read for this class?
  • Professor: Are you serious? Yes, it is important that you read for this class.

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too late

1051 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2008

  • Sorostitute on cell: Hey! My lucky red thong came through for me! He actually wanted to... hey, let me call you back... I think some people here are listening and I don't want this all over the Internet.

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"...i might be here a while"

57 [+ / -]     Jan 03, 2008

  • Girl on cell: I'm at the CLC... the Student Learning Center.

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yep, july 4, 1929. they were the reason behind the depression.

54 [+ / -]     Dec 14, 2007

  • Girl 1: When did we secede from Great Britain?
  • Girl 2: I'm not sure of the exact date, why?
  • Girl 1: But it was before 1930, right?

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math is hard! let's go shopping!

-29 [+ / -]     Dec 05, 2007

  • Girl: (giving a presentation) We're going to be in a major energy crisis by the year 2037... and that's, like, two decades away!

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that's one way to crash a server

192 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2007

  • (Heard across the computer floor in the SLC)
  • Girl: (yelling) Oh my God! My nipple is on Facebook!

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i'm currently computing your IQ

-35 [+ / -]     Dec 01, 2007

  • Sorostitute: What classes are you taking next semester?
  • Guy: Intro to personal computing and -
  • Sorostitute: (interrupting) Wait... like... on a computer?

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when old english was back in vogue

119 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2007

  • Girl 1: My boyfriend wants to see Beowulf. I don't get it... I hated reading that in high school!
  • Girl 2: I know! It was so boring!
  • GIrl 3: Hmm, I don't think we ever read it. What year did y'all graduate?
  • Girl 1: 2005.
  • Girl 3: Oh, well that explains it. It must have been written after I graduated.

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a simple "not much" would have sufficed

-20 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2007

  • Girl 1: Hey! Whats up?
  • Girl 2: I spilled syrup on my pants this morning, and now my thighs keep sticking together!

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you passed that test when you got her pregnant

114 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2007

  • Fratty 1: Yeah, so remember that girl who said I got her pregnant? Well I saw the kid and I don't think its mine.
  • Fratty 2: What are you going to do? Haven't you been paying child support?
  • Fratty 1: I think I'm going to take a fraternity test to prove it isn't mine and then ask for my money back.

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now that's a diet

15 [+ / -]     Nov 15, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: I think I really wanna get the flu shot this year, having the flu would suck so bad.
  • Sorostitute 2: Are you kidding? The flu would be a god-send, then I wouldn't be eating and I would be throwing up. I mean does it get any better?

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it certainly wasn't holding up anyone's pants

129 [+ / -]     Nov 02, 2007

  • (On the day after Halloween)
  • Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod! I was so drunk last night I wouldn't have even known what I dressed up as if I hadn't woken up in it this morning!
  • Sorostitute 2: Um, you left dressed as a cowgirl... but you came back as Quailman.
  • Sorostitute 1: I was wondering why I had a belt around my head.

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he's a whiz kid

-15 [+ / -]     Oct 12, 2007

  • Fratty 1: Dude I just pissed all over my hands.
  • Fratty 2: Thats sick! Why didn't you wash them?
  • Fratty 1: There's a watering ban, dumbass. I didn't flush the urinal either.
  • Fratty 2: Those have sensors on them.

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it goes to the pool on the roof

30 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2007

  • (On the 4th floor of the SLC)
  • Fratty: The elevator's here.
  • Sorostitute: No, not that elevator! That one is going up!

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studying her pants off, of course

200 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2007

  • Flagline girl: How late is the SLC open?
  • Girl: Seriously? You're asking me during a game? I don't know, why?
  • Flagline girl: I left my panties in there this morning.

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urine trouble, man

24 [+ / -]     Aug 27, 2007

  • Fratty: (Props feet on a chair) What? My feet are clean. I let the water run over them in the shower this morning.
  • Sorostitute: But don't guys pee in the shower?

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ironically, bulimia is being introduced as a new PE class

10 [+ / -]     Aug 04, 2007

  • Girl 1: Are you going to the gym today?
  • Girl 2: No, I don't have time. I'm just going to throw up.

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you're the barry bonds of academia

42 [+ / -]     Aug 03, 2007

  • Student: (looks at Adderall) Each one of those little balls is like another percentage point on my grade.

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the fratty pilgrimage. the hippies have bonnaroo, afterall

-83 [+ / -]     Jul 23, 2007

  • Fratty: We gotta go, man. I heard it was like the most frat-tastic thing ever. Like, wear your Vineyard Vines, man. Super fratty.

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as if it were ever a question

-41 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: So how are you gonna eat then?
  • Sorostitute 2: Uh, duh, I'm not!

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the phone or the rugrat?

156 [+ / -]     Jun 20, 2007

  • (Professor's cell phone goes off in the middle of lecture)
  • Professor: Sorry guys, but I have a pregnant wife at home.I have to keep my phone on in case something happens... I hope it's mine.

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like molasses

81 [+ / -]     Jun 17, 2007

  • Girl: I'm taking it a lot slower than usual. We didn't even have sex until the third date.

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alcohol vs. studying (round 3)

41 [+ / -]     May 08, 2007

  • Drunk guy: Finals are gay! That's why I'm drunk!
  • (Drunk guy runs into the SLC with a bottle of beer)

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it works a lot like original sin

47 [+ / -]     May 08, 2007

  • Girl 1: I hate studying for History. I can't remember it and I just don't care.
  • Girl 2: You're American, right?
  • Girl 1: Well, yeah.
  • Girl 2: So American history is in your veins. You should already know it. Therefore you shouldn't have to study. Let;s go get drunk!

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she'd need adderall to pay attention for that long

94 [+ / -]     May 03, 2007

  • Girl 1: Man, this Adderall is giving me some serious cottonmouth.
  • Girl 2: Yeah, I know what you mean.
  • Girl 1: I feel like I've been sucking dick for hours on end.
  • Girl 2: Yeah, totally.

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I thought midol cured cramps

63 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Oh my god... so I think I have HPV.
  • Sorostitute 2: Oh, don't worry, I've had that before. Its not a big deal, just take some Advil.

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that's no easter egg

49 [+ / -]     Apr 26, 2007

  • Redhead: God, I really wanna eat some chocolate right now.
  • Blonde: Really? Why?
  • Redhead: I think I'm about to start my period... or I'm pregnant. Either way, I still want chocolate.

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how did she not see that coming?

74 [+ / -]     Apr 17, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Do you ever just get tired of having sex?
  • Sorostitute 2: Actually... no. I never get tired of sex.
  • Sorostiture 1: Yeah, well that's because you're a whore!

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dumpster is the new potters house

34 [+ / -]     Apr 16, 2007

  • Indie girl: I found this Burberry bag in a dumpster one day. They're expensive. So, if i ever wanted to show off my status...
  • Guy: With a bag you found in the dumpster?
  • Indie girl: Hey! No one has to know.

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better that than a pedophile serial killer

53 [+ / -]     Mar 29, 2007

  • Guy 1: I think I might go pre-med.
  • Guy 2: Really? I just declared that this past weekend. What do you want to do?
  • Guy 1: I want to be a pediatric surgeon. (pauses) I want to cut children.

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gotta love the kindness of strangers

149 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: I am starting this new zero calorie diet.
  • Sorostitute 2: I hear it is so in right now.
  • Passerby: It's called anorexia, google it. Also try making yourself throw-up. I hear you can shed those pounds like crazy.

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she's been studying way too long

97 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2007

  • Guy: Hi, what would you like today?
  • Sorostitute: I would just like a vanilla mocha and one of those things in the glass holder right there, sorry I forgot what they are called.
  • Guy: A bagel?
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, that's it!

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or maybe even a contusion

-38 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2007

  • Girl: I have this really bad bruise. I'm afraid it's internal bleeding.

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what else is there to do... besides take grammar lessons?

-41 [+ / -]     Mar 12, 2007

  • Sorostitute: If I would've won that $80 million jackpot I'd so like go to the beach!

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the kissing or the stove?

-13 [+ / -]     Mar 02, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah I saw him this week and I spent some time with him on Saturday.
  • Sorostitute 2: Oh that's really awesome!
  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah he's a really good kisser by the way.
  • Sorostitute 2: Whoa you guys made out?
  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah for like an hour and a half. I have bruises from being shoved up against the wall, the refrigerator, the stove...
  • Sorostitute 2: Ooo that's hot!

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i'll have to remember to try that as a pickup line

95 [+ / -]     Mar 02, 2007

  • Professor: (explaining carpe diem) You know, we're all going to die one day. And our bodies are going to rot in the graves, and our teeth are going to fall out. But, lets have sex tonight! Seize the Day!

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they're clothes, unless they're not

-55 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2007

  • Girl 1: I'm so cold!
  • Girl 2: Why don't you have on a jacket?
  • Girl 1: I didn't bring any clothes back with me.
  • Girl 2: Then what was all that in that suitcase you brought back yesterday?
  • Girl 1: Clothes.

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because blowing jason is securing my future

64 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Hey! Oh my God I never see you on campus!
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah i know, why weren't you in class today?
  • Sorostitute 1: I skipped our last class because Jason wanted a BJ.

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its uga... every class is mostly white people

-149 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2007

  • Asian girl 1: So I signed up for Asian lit.
  • Asian girl 2: Yah.
  • Asian girl 1: So, there's a bunch of asians in there...
  • Asian girl 2: Yah?
  • Asian girl 1: Well when I got to class it was all white people!

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what would jesus write on my wall?

81 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2007

  • Girl 1: I gave up Facebook for Lent.
  • Girl 2: What?! You can't give up Facebook!

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i love you too, honey

73 [+ / -]     Dec 27, 2006

  • Girl on cell: Hello?
  • (pause)
  • Girl on cell: Yes this is Holly.
  • (pause)
  • Girl on cell: I'm sorry, who's this?
  • (pause)
  • Girl on cell: Oh, hi mom. My Caller ID's messed up.

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you thought you were desperate for an A

159 [+ / -]     Dec 16, 2006

  • (Sorostitute is staring at vending machine)
  • Sorostitute: (on cell phone) They don't have it, I've checked every floor.
  • Student: Were you looking for something?
  • Sorostitute: All my friends have been buying Adderall for finals and I think they are sold out.

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college is about priorities

289 [+ / -]     Sep 29, 2006

  • Fratty: I need an appointment for the writing center.
  • Reference desk helper: The only time available tonight is 9:45, but monday is available.
  • Fratty: Well, my paper is due tomorrow... hang on.
  • (Fratty calls someone on cell phone)
  • Fratty: What time are we going downtown?

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