Quotes Filed Under "On the phone"


#5   that's how you know you spelled it right

1 [+ / -]     Dec 13, 2008

  • high school girl 1: (Sending a text message) How do you spell "cocky?"
  • high school girl 2: C-O-C-Y.
  • high school girl 1: (types it) That looks like "cookie!"
  • high school girl 2: Yeah, it does.

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technology brings people together

223 [+ / -]     Nov 27, 2008

  • Girl on cell: Yes, Mom, I know. Just don't tell Dad I've been taking the pill. He'd fucking kill me.
  • (pause)
  • Girl on cell: What do you mean I'm on speakerphone!?

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mother knows best

75 [+ / -]     Nov 24, 2008

  • Guy on cell: Yeah, man, I have a date lined up for every day next week. Oh, yeah, well, I already know she's gonna dump me Friday, and I can't do anything about it. Yeah, her friend told me. Well, I was tellin' my mom about it, and she said, "You're in Athens, though! There are way more girls than guys there, and they're all easy! You should just go out and get laid as much as possible, by lots of girls!" So I'm gonna do that.

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looks like the ventriloquism classes are going well

164 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2008

  • Guy: I give hugs for free!
  • Girl 1: (loudly) Well I give sexual favors for hugs!
  • Girl 2: (at next table) What? No, Mom! That wasn't me talking!

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is that pass / fail?

-36 [+ / -]     Nov 17, 2008

  • Patron: I would like to register.
  • WatchDawg: What are you registering for?
  • Patron: A ride home.

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the ties that bind

-48 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2008

  • Guy on cell: Hey grandma! I'm about to go to work but I'm filling out info for student loans for when I go to Spain. I need two references and I used mom as the first, and you're next in line, so.... okay, great! How do you spell your first name? S-U-S-A-N. And what's your middle name?

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this is why god gave us ebay

198 [+ / -]     Nov 10, 2008

  • Cashier: (on phone) Yeah, uh huh... sure, sure. Let me place you on hold for just a second, sir, while I go look.
  • (presses button on phone)
  • Cashier: (screaming) Hey! This perv wants to know if we have any inflatable male sex dolls! Do we?
  • Guy on Phone: Um, you put me on speaker phone, not hold. (click)

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this is not a test... i repeat, this is not a test

71 [+ / -]     Nov 07, 2008

  • WatchDawgs guy fielding a call: I'm not a recording... really... you can talk directly to me.

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never trust anyone who can make marzipan from scratch

55 [+ / -]     Nov 05, 2008

  • Girl on Cell: I made some marzipan from scratch yesterday. My roommate said it tasted good, but I think she only flatters me because she's convinced I'd kill her in sleep otherwise. Not like I would. Everyone would think it was me anyway 'cause I'm black. Or crazy. Whateves.

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