Quotes Filed Under "Drugs"


now, back to our discussion about the size of uranus...

119 [+ / -]     Dec 24, 2008

  • Student: So where does Europium come from?
  • Chemistry Teacher: (slowly) I don't have any opium...

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yeah, with that girl over there

33 [+ / -]     Dec 15, 2008

  • Girl: (to friend) So I'm just gonna like take some Adderall, study like fucking hell, and stay up all night until I pass out.
  • Father: (eavesdropping, to daughter) So, um, do you have any studying to do?

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black people burn like hell

-13 [+ / -]     Dec 14, 2008

  • Guy 1: Dude, it still burns!
  • Guy 2: That is the last time I put anything up my nose that isn't white.

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i'm never eating at mcdonald's again

-31 [+ / -]     Dec 12, 2008

  • Guy: Yeah, basically you just do an Internet thing to learn how to cook everything. Its an easy job. You can come in high all the time.

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during the commercials, of course

107 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2008

  • Girl 1: So how did that study session with that guy go last night?
  • Girl 2: I went to his place, he took a couple of hits off a huge bong, we fucked, and then watched the Boondock Saints.
  • Girl 1: Nice!
  • Girl 3: So when did you study?

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that's the last time i sign up for a class with dr. dre

9 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • (Professor is taking about a quiz application on Facebook)
  • Professor: Some of you will find that you might be higher than how high you think you are.
  • (laughter)
  • Professor: I meant the results on the quiz!

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sounds like a brain buster

10 [+ / -]     Oct 22, 2008

  • Girl 1: I had no idea that cayenne pepper and ginseng had the same effects as Adderall... I need to go to the store.
  • Girl 2: Ew! Do you have to snort it? Wouldn't cayenne pepper hurt?

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#14   it certainly gets around

-10 [+ / -]     Oct 20, 2008

  • Kid on cell: So is this weed skank, or what?

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little johnny still loves the rock

145 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2008

  • (Mother and Son walk out of Best Buy where there is a booth set up for the D.A.R.E. program)
  • Lady at table: Have you heard about the D.A.R.E. program?
  • Mom: Yeah, and it didn't work.

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would you like to make it a fatty?

39 [+ / -]     Oct 09, 2008

  • (Guy is talking on his cell phone standing in line ordering a wrap)
  • Guy on cell: Yeah, lemme get some cheese. Yeah dude, alright. So he only sells dimes and quarters, but it's real cheap. And some jalapeņos. Okay, that's straight. We'll chill later. Just go buy some.

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to help with concentration during sex

-78 [+ / -]     Oct 02, 2008

  • Girl 1: So I really need to go to the drug store.
  • Girl 2: Why?
  • Girl 1: I have to pick up my Adderall and birth control.

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if it ain't broke...

-6 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

  • Hipster: I like Nyquil. But Nyquil with liquor in it? Kinda gross.

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it's true what they say about too much of a good thing

27 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2008

  • (As he walks onto the elevator with a large cup of coffee)
  • Scenester: Adderall is killing my brain, dude... I can't even study.

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he's working on his dissertation as we speak

23 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • Homeless Guy: Excuse me, can you spare some change for some psychedelic research?

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which is nothing to joke about

26 [+ / -]     Jul 22, 2008

  • Guy: (dressed like The Joker) My Joker makeup is awesome! Except I had to take off my smile for now because I can't hit the bong with it on.

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horrible mental image for the day? check.

98 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

  • Old woman: (referring to a dress in the juniors department) This is cute.
  • Old man: Is it a dress or a shirt?
  • Old woman: It's a babydoll dress. You know, like I used to wear.
  • Old man: Yeah, back in the day when I didn't need my blue pills.

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have you tried saving the environment... on weed?

43 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

  • (On a tour of the new art building)
  • Art Instructor: And you can see that the graduate painting studios provide an excellent view of the "green roof."
  • Student: Oh, I wonder what's growing out there.
  • Art instructor: Drugs!

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